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Overloading children with tutoring and activities: The dangerous trap parents fall into. Oana Zapca: "We often don’t even know why we’re doing it!"
The expert emphasizes the importance of self-awareness. She underscores that self-esteem is built upon a deep understanding of oneself. This involves identifying one's abilities, fears, and doubts.
"To have self-esteem, it's important to know yourself, to know who you are. It's very difficult to say, 'I have low/high self-esteem' if I don't know what abilities I have, what fears I have, and what doubts I have.
At its core is knowing yourself. And then, of course, when someone says something untrue about you, you, having confidence in yourself, will realize that it's not true and be able to stand up to it", said Alexandra Stoica on "Present Parents", a show by ParintisiPitici.ro.
PHOTO: freepik.com @Drazen Zigic
In the discussion about how natural and healthy self-esteem is sabotaged, Alexandra Stoica emphasizes the role of adults, especially parents, in this process. The expert identifies that sabotage occurs when adults begin to put pressure on children, suggesting that what they are doing is not enough.
"Sabotage is done by the adult, by the parent. When they start to say 'You haven't done that enough,' 'You haven't done enough there,' the child begins to realize that they don't feel enough, that they are not enough.
From here, then, a whole list starts, the adult says that it's not possible, that they don't know, that they need to improve here and there because we perpetuate the same thing from one generation to another.
A parent without confidence in themselves, of course, will raise a child without confidence in themselves", emphasized the parenting specialist counselor.
PHOTO: freepik.com @EyeEm
In the discussion on the causes leading to low self-esteem, Alexandra Stoica highlights the emotional wounds we carry from childhood, which are transmitted from one generation to another.
"The causes are largely the emotional wounds we grew up with. When we pass these wounds from one generation to another, of course, our children will inherit them", said the expert.
Regarding the consequences of low self-esteem, Alexandra Stoica emphasizes that it can have a profound impact on our lives, influencing the choices we make and the relationships we engage in.
"Well, we look at dysfunctional relationships, toxic relationships we enter into, in romantic relationships, we go to jobs we don't like, we accept friends we don't like who tell us things that affect us because I don't know who I am, I don't trust myself, and then I'll accept anything.
When if I don't know who I am and what I want, what I desire in this life, I'll let others decide my life, and I might wake up at some point and say 'Okay, enough, from here on out, I want to decide for myself.'
Self-confidence is built, and you lay a brick every day", Alexandra Stoica further explained.
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