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Overloading children with tutoring and activities: The dangerous trap parents fall into. Oana Zapca: "We often don’t even know why we’re doing it!"
One way is to include them from the beginning by attending breastfeeding courses to better understand the process. Their involvement in child-related activities that do not directly involve breastfeeding is also essential. Direct communication and sharing responsibilities are important in this process. The father's role is not limited to logistical support; he can play an important role in protecting and supporting the mother.
"We take them with us from the beginning to the breastfeeding course so that they know what it entails. We involve them in many other child-related activities that do not involve breastfeeding because they can't help much there. Some mothers choose to express milk, and the partner can feed the baby with a bottle. Tasks shared through direct communication, I believe, are the most important. However, the father's role in breastfeeding is very important in supporting the mother. As I mentioned, they are the core, and often various people around us say, 'Give the baby some formula, can't you see he's too thin, can't you see he's looking for food?' 'Are you sure you have milk?' The father could help protect the mother in this situation, with her support.
Many times, those around us see us, mothers, tired, maybe with breast pain, perhaps not having showered for two days, and they try to help us. 'Come on, give me the baby, I'll give him three bottles of formula, go and sleep!' We need to learn, as mothers, to say, 'I see that you want to help me, I appreciate it, but I need a different kind of help! I need you to stay with the baby while I take a shower, but I don't want you to give him formula because it interferes with my breastfeeding. I need you to take the baby for a 2-hour walk so that I can get some rest.' In other words, to be very specific about what we need, to tell grandparents 'Please make me soup,' or friends ' Come visit us? Okay, stop by the store and buy me this, this, and that,'", explained dr. Ilinca Tranulis on Părinți Prezenți, a program by ParintisiPitici.ro.
The internationally certified lactation consultant emphasizes the importance of allowing mothers to care for their children in the way they know best. Partners can play an important role in protecting the mother-child couple by providing support in activities that ease the mothers, such as bringing a snack or a glass of water during breastfeeding.
"We should communicate directly what we need because our primary concern is the child, and we should be allowed to care for them as we know best. Because a mother knows best what to do with her child. And yes, the partner can protect the mother-child couple, can help the mother with other things, bring her a snack because she might be immobilized in the breastfeeding chair for an hour and a half, and bring her a glass of water. I remember with my second child, as I sat down to breastfeed, if I saw my husband nearby, I would say, 'Bring me a glass of water too.' I already knew that thirst occurs as a result of breastfeeding. It's a reflex thing. Our bodies are perfectly designed so that you lose a certain amount of fluid; you immediately need to replenish it. And he would say, 'Didn't you learn that every time you sit down to breastfeed, you get thirsty? Why don't you take a glass of water beforehand?' I already knew this was the rule, but I took advantage of small things.
The partner can provide emotional support because it can be challenging, it can be painful. As long as the partner doesn't come and say, 'Come on, give him formula, don't struggle so much,' with all the best intentions, and asks the mother, 'How can I help you? What can I do to make it easier for you? I can't breastfeed,' well, that can also be achieved with some correct pills, but if he supports her in what she does and helps her as she needs, it's phenomenal", also sad dr. Ilinca Tranulis.
You can also read: Signs your baby is getting enough from breastfeeding. Dr. Ilinca Tranulis: "It's not the time that helps us, but THIS helps us!" / VIDEO
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