Overloading children with tutoring and activities: The dangerous trap parents fall into. Oana Zapca: "We often don’t even know why we’re doing it!"
When a parent knows their limits, they can set expectations realistically for their child. It's essential to approach parental responsibilities with wisdom and adapt our expectations to the individual needs and abilities of our children.
"We need the parent to understand what they want for themselves first, and then understand what they can offer their child.
There's a saying from a priest who said: 'God gives a child to every fool.' There's another who said: 'Not everyone in this world needs to be a parent.' There's another who said: 'Not everyone needs to get married in this world.'
Once the parent understands their limits, then they can understand what they demand from their child. The solution to all this national stupidity that glorifies academic achievement from kindergarten to an art level must stop!
We don't need children forced to learn, because they will be identical to those in the present, who don't know how to write and read. And if they do know how to write and read, they know how to do so with mistakes. Also, those who know how to write and read don't understand what they know how to write and read. See how complicated the situation is? It's horrible!" clarified Radu Leca on "Present Parents" a show by ParintisiPitici.ro.
PHOTO: freepik.com @uryupinanadezhda
Psychologist Radu Leca observed that the musical phenomenon known as trap gained popularity for a surprising reason. He suggests that when the trap started to rise, even those without solid literacy skills managed to connect with its lyrics.
"That's why the trap emerged. On the day trap appeared, those who couldn't read and write understood the lyrics. When there's nothing lower than manele, representing the dregs of society in decline on the idea that we're dealing with an emotional cancer, a trap emerged, representing a cancer x 1,000 on a person.
When the lyrics presented, in a trap, a shortened version of the Romanian language, then thousands of people who couldn't write, read, and speak Romanian correctly said: 'Ahhh, wait, wait, wait! I understand what it's saying! Yes! I understand what it's saying! Wow! Hey, this is good!' And you think: 'Lord, I can't believe it!'. But yes! This is the future!" said psychologist Radu Leca.
PHOTO: freepik.com @elinapopova
The expert presented a simple yet profound scene illustrating the importance of authentic communication and interaction between parent and child in the parenting process. Leca advocates for open and empathetic conversation between parent and child, encouraging active and creative involvement from both parties in shared activities. These interactions not only strengthen emotional bonds but also stimulate the child's cognitive and creative development.
The scenarios presented by Radu Leca suggest that routine moments can be transformed into educational and enjoyable experiences for the child, with the parent encouraged to remain open to the child's initiatives and questions, adapting to their needs and interests.
"You go to the child and say:
- Sweetheart, what do you want to do today?
- I want to stay home with you!
- Perfect! I'll start painting. Do you want to paint with me?
- Can I watch you to see if I know how?
- Come on, I'll draw a line, you draw a line.
The next day:
- Sweetheart, let's go frame the two drawings we made.
- Where are we going?
- We're going to a place where they frame pictures.
- How are we getting there?
And you have a choice at that moment: to be extravagantly foolish and take a taxi or drive yourself, or take public transportation and tell the child:
- Mommy!
- Yes, my love!
- Is it the first time my soul goes on the subway?
- Yes? Let's go again!
- Shall we stop by the park and get one of those cotton candies that have been sitting in the dust?
- Yes, let's!
How many things have you done with your child in just one day?
On another day, we'll do other things, and on another day, we'll do more.
- Sweetheart, what are we doing today? We're going hiking!
- Hiking?
- To Sinaia, at 2000 meters.
- And we breathe that fresh, fresh air?
- Yes!
- Well, what do we do with our brains when we breathe fresh, fresh air? Paint?
- Let's do something even greater!
- What do we do?
- Let's play with numbers!
- A number game?
- Yes!
And you bring out sudoku and logic puzzles. The child will say:
- I want, I want, I want to be smart!
‘I want to be smart’ does NOT mean ‘I'm forcing you to be smart!’
You need to learn to talk to your child! Learn in the real world of parenting!" concluded Radu Leca.
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