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The expert emphasized that, especially with the first child, it is normal to resort to searching for information on the Internet. However, she warned that filtering this information is essential. Diana Rațiu acknowledged that, although there are tables that provide estimates related to the necessary sleep and optimal waking periods based on age, these cannot be used as fixed rules for every child.
"It's normal to be tempted to search for all kinds of information on the internet with the first child. It's a good tool, that Google we all know, and indeed, some information is good, but it's important to know how to filter it. I can't say that tables are my favorites. Indeed, there are tables from which we can find out what the optimal waking periods are, and what the sleep requirement is according to age, and they could be used as good estimates, to see the upper limit, and the lower limit.
But we can't raise our children by some tables! Because it's not about a table, it's about the child's needs. Children are different, they have different needs, especially in terms of sleep. One child may have a low need for sleep and then be at the lower limit. Another child may be a 'unicorn child,' as I call it, who can sleep a lot both during the day and at night, so there may not be many challenges.
The child's temperament is also involved here. There are angelic children, children by the book, who theoretically, wherever you put them, they stay, and when you put them to sleep, they go to bed calmly, when you feed them, they eat anything. But we're not all that lucky. So I wouldn't use a table, but I would be more attentive as a parent to my child's needs. I would observe his state day by day if he's reasonably rested.
Tired children, in general, are cranky, whiny, and more irritable, they always wake up crying more. And then we can, over time, as we gain experience and get through the first few months which are tougher, get an idea of what helps my child. And then we put the table aside and focus more on the signs that my child shows us", Diana Rațiu said at Părinți Prezenți, a show by ParintisiPitici.ro.
PHOTO: freepik.com @photodiod
Diana Rațiu also highlighted the importance of understanding the difference between signs of sleep and signs of tiredness, considering them distinct and essential aspects of the child's daily routine.
"In theory, in the first few months, we're talking about feeding on demand and sleeping on demand. I would divide these signs into signs of sleep and signs of tiredness. They are two different things!
Children, especially in the first few months, give us some signs of sleep: their eyebrows furrow, they start pulling their ears, they yawn from time to time, and if breastfed they suck a bit slower than usual. When we see these signs of sleep, theoretically, we should start calming the child and head toward actual sleep. Whether we go into a separate room, whether we put him to sleep as we know, beside us, the idea is that we head towards sleep.
If we fail to see these signs or we've seen them but ignored them, then yes, signs of tiredness can appear: he's more upset, more irritable, loses concentration, stares into space, and may start crying, in older children we may even observe hyperactivity.
We need to put him to bed at the signs of sleep, when we reach signs of tiredness, clearly we head towards the bedroom and deal with it there. There may be situations where he falls asleep faster, succumbing to tiredness, or there may be situations where sleep could be longer precisely because he's already very tired. This means he's a child already loaded with stress hormones, like cortisol or adrenaline, and it's normal for sleep to be more challenging", Diana Rațiu further emphasized.
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