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Overloading children with tutoring and activities: The dangerous trap parents fall into. Oana Zapca: "We often don’t even know why we’re doing it!"
"Parental burnout can trigger depression - and it often does trigger depression - it can trigger anxiety.
These issues tend to attract and affect each other, creating vulnerabilities that can lead to other disorders or vulnerabilities.
For example, if I see that I can no longer cope, worries about the future arise, and I might develop catastrophic thoughts about what might happen: ‘You’ll see that they won’t get into such-and-such school and won’t be able to do such-and-such,’ or excessive worries about the children, and less connection with myself as a parent", said Ana Maria Zamfir on Părinți Prezenți, a show by ParintisiPitici.ro.
Psychologist Ana Maria Zamfir has detailed the process through which parents reach burnout.
"We reach it slowly, gradually. Today a little, tomorrow more, starting from an idealization. And I think this is the core. We idealize a lot through the prism of influences we constantly receive from our environment; we are constantly educated by any kind of information that exists around us, through media or the models that are close to us, families that give us examples or counterexamples", the psychologist said.
This constant idealization creates unrealistic expectations for both parents and children. The pressure to excel in all aspects of life, from school to extracurricular activities, can become overwhelming.
"Particularly, if we refer to Romanian society, which we also see, being parents ourselves with three children, we have the opportunity to see many families, many children, talk to them, see what's happening. We know what school means and the effort to cope with school life. Here, we see a state of exhaustion among children, parents, and even teachers, and a constant lack of confidence in what each can do in this equation or where it can lead", Ana Maria Zamfir added.
The expert emphasized that parents, in their desire to provide the best opportunities for their children, often demand too much from them.
"Through these idealizations, we sometimes aim for more than is healthy for the child and find it harder to accept some of their limits or motivations, which are outside our desires or projections. There is tremendous pressure, and the system demands extraordinarily much from everyone, but primarily we are talking about the student. It seems that there is now discussion even about this aspect, namely the student's burnout, educationally", Ana Maria Zamfir concluded.
Psychologist Ana Maria Zamfir has drawn attention to a crucial aspect of children's education that is often neglected.
"From this perspective of education, a lot is overlooked in terms of emotional education, personal development, and communication techniques. If we look at the curriculum, it's very dense, extraordinarily dense.
School starts at age 6, as far as I know, whereas the recommendation used to be for age 7, when another stage of mental development begins, a stage where the mind can more easily handle these demands", the expert pointed out.
Ana Maria Zamfir highlights that, although kindergarten is designed to provide an adjustment period, in reality, children are subjected to demands similar to those in higher grades:
"Even though kindergarten is supposed to be a certain way, the reality is that it is practiced just like the others, except with a bit more time for adjustment, but there is still a lot!
If we add up all that time spent sitting at desks and demanding that the child pay attention, we realize that they are not paying attention much more often."
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